The Art of Loving Well
Photography by Dave Cooper
Interview by Jennifer Cooper
“I love to create things that bring people delight, but at the very heart of it, when they encounter my art and when they encounter me, I want them to know how special they are. ”
My friend, artist Sarah Alexander lives well. And I think her secret to living well is that she loves well. Exceptionally well. And that love extends to her art practice.
As an artist, Sarah creates a beautiful world where we are meant to feel loved and celebrated by transforming the things we so often take for granted into works of art.
Here are some examples: She made a gorgeous chandelier entirely out of packing material, transformed bits of paper and plaster into an entire trophy room designed to make you feel like the treasure you are, and she once collected tree limbs brought down by a storm and gave them a new life as the backdrop to the soft glow of love.
She says that none of this would be possible without the support of her partner, Matt—whom she works alongside—and her children.
Sarah’s creative approach has no limits. She not only thinks in two and three dimensions, she also thinks deeply about the people who will encounter the work she creates. It’s like she has a gift for slipping out of her experience so that she can be completely in someone else’s. You get that sense when you’re with her. She is focused on you and the moment between you. And it shows in her work.
I invited Sarah to share some of her story so we can learn from her experience and the way she sees the world. She was gracious enough to accept.
above images were used with permission from artist’s instagram feed.
We met years ago when you were living out West, which is where you’re from, right? Did you ever think you’d end up as an East Coaster?
In college, yes! At eighteen, for some reason, I knew the East Coast was in my future. But, when you and I met at Alt Summit fifteen years later, my family had been living and working out West for so long that I didn't really see a relocation to the East Coast anytime. I never would have guessed that we would wind up in Maryland (a state I had never been to before), let alone 15 minutes from you! How crazy is that?!
You are open about living with a chronic illness. Can you tell us a bit about how it affects your life as an artist?
On the one hand, living with a chronic illness has completely changed my life. It turned my world upside down, leaving “normal life” before illness, a distant memory.
I have a new norm, one that slows me down, robs me of my ability to make plans too far in advance, or work a 9 to 5 because of the constant presence of symptoms, sleepless nights, and unpredictability of my body. However, these very limitations of having a chronic illness has also shaped me into the artist I am today.
“I didn’t study art and I have to work hard not to allow those feelings to paralyze me and prevent me from not only creating the work that is inside of me, but also saying yes to a project because I feel like someone better qualified should be awarded the project.”
I love your art! Tell me more about how you arrived at this place.
I need to make art to breathe. It’s who I am. But maybe I wouldn’t have noticed that if I wasn’t forced to slow down? Maybe, if all of these limitations that come along with having a chronic illness, didn’t exist, maybe I wouldn’t give myself permission to BE an artist.
Living life with a chronic illness has really forced me to learn to live as big as I can within my limitations. And I do like to do life in a big and fun way, but having a body that doesn’t always keep up with my spirit forces me to acknowledge that I do have limitations. This isn’t always easy, and I didn’t arrive at this place immediately.
I have been sick for over a decade, however it wasn’t until I woke up one day, after having symptoms for well over a year, that I realized that my symptoms were not going to magically disappear. I had to either accept that this was my new norm and find a way to live even if the symptoms never went away or continue to allow the symptoms to rob me of my life.
“I just want to be seen for who I am as a person, and not for my illness. And, in the same breath, I want to be accepted for who I am within the limitations of my illness. ”
That must have been hard. What caused the shift?
I missed being me. I also felt like I was missing out on being mom to my kids and wife to my best friend. I just felt like my illness was stealing away this beautiful life I had been given with these three really cool people.
So I decided that I would find a way to really live within this set of constraints. In the end, living with constraints started to trickle over into how I made art. Art within limitations is better art—a deadline, a theme, a certain material...all of these factors lead to creativity in all of us.
I don’t know when it happened, but sometime along the way I really just started pressing in and challenging myself to make things to the best of my ability using a limited palette. My material choices are almost always driven by something that I already have on hand, and the material is often rubbish. I find such joy in creating this way, but I also see such symbolism in the beauty that can come from the ashes in our lives.
I think that maybe the gift in having a chronic illness for me is perspective. I know that my time is limited, so I stopped caring about the things that really didn’t have a lasting impact in my life and started pouring into the things that mattered the most to me.
I need to give a little disclaimer here: I am only able to live this way because of the incredible support system that I have in my amazing husband, children, and doctors. I want to be very careful not to tie my story up with a neat little bow and lead anyone to believe that because of my attitude my symptoms magically disappeared...they did not. I do not want to discredit the suffering of so many of my friends who suffer with a chronic illness and do not have the kind of support system AND healthcare that I have. I would not be able to get out of bed if it were not for the three amazing people that I live with, for doctors who listen (this is a GIFT), and for medications that I take almost daily. I live a very full life (albeit limited) because of Matt, Claire, Tate, Dr. D, and Dr. M.
photo by Dave Cooper
“There’s something so sacred, so beautiful about creating moments to remind someone just how special they are to you and to the world. ”
What do you want people to know about those living with a chronic illness?
For me, personally, there are a handful of things that come to mind. But, possibly, the one that stands out the most is that I just want to be seen for who I am as a person, and not for my illness. And, in the same breath, I want to be accepted for who I am within the limitations of my illness.
You and your husband create incredible environments for celebrations. I still think about the Trophy Room you made for Alt, which was basically a room filled with accolades for every one who entered it. Like a room full of love notes we didn’t even know we needed. It made me feel so good to feel so loved! I also look forward to your back-to-school dinner pictures every year! Can you tell me why you’ve chosen to use your art this way.
Oooh that makes me SO happy to hear that our trophy room made you feel that way!! That was exactly how we had hoped it would make people feel.
I don’t know if I can explain it very well, but I feel like I have this calling over my life to love people well. It’s a deep desire to make people feel loved and to know that they matter in this world.
I love to create things that bring people delight, but at the very heart of it, when they encounter my art and when they encounter me, I want them to know how special they are.
The same is true of the back to school dinners we create for our children. I love to find fun ways to celebrate my people well. I always feel like if I can create a fun and magical installation for total strangers then I want the things that I make for those who know me best—the ones I love—to be even more magical and to make them come away feeling loved.
There’s something so sacred, so beautiful about creating these moments to remind someone just how special they are to you and to the world.
What are you working on now?
I am working on a couple of commission pieces. One is a portrait collage of an adorable couple and their dachshund. It’s made out of recycled publications I cut up and stitched together. At home, we just created a giant quarantine obstacle course.
I am a tad bit more vulnerable during this pandemic, so I am being very careful about the install projects I take right now. I might take a winter install, but I need to be very cautious. In the meantime, while we are in quarantine, my husband Ringo and I have been pouring a lot of creative energy into house projects we didn’t have the time for in the past!
“I wish more people asked me how to celebrate their people well.”
What keeps you moving forward?
As an enneagram seven, it is always the anticipation of something new that keeps me moving forward!! It is the prospect of something fun on the horizon and knowing that there is always a “next fun thing” to do/create/make. It is finding joy, delight, and gratitude. It is most importantly, my spiritual life. And always always always my little family. The excitement of making art. Planning new installs even if they have no home. Trips to Terrain. British home magazines. Capri blue volcano candles. Flowers. Old houses. Homemade ice cream. Good music. Planning changes to my wonky old house. Estate sales. Laughing. Feeding squirrels and raccoons on my back deck. Dinners on my back deck. Coffee! Oh, definitely coffee. Being in a space that inspires me. But really, it's waking up and being thankful for another day and another day with Matt (aka Ringo), Claire, and Tate.
What holds you back?
Not feeling like I have the right credentials ever. Imposter syndrome. I often feel incredibly unqualified (I didn’t study art), and I have to work hard not to allow those feelings to paralyze me and prevent me from not only creating the work that is inside of me, but prevent me from saying yes to a project because I feel like someone else better qualified should be awarded this project.
This might sound strange, but doctor appointments hold me back. I avoid scheduling them, but when I do, I find myself paralyzed by the emotions that arise, leading up to the appointment. I am sure this has a lot to do with being forced to face the reality of my symptoms (I dwell in denial), and the larger reality of a life of managing symptoms with no cure in sight.
And lastly, I have to be very careful not to allow myself to spend too much time dwelling on the hard parts of my story (i.e., the parts of my illness that I cannot change). For me personally, this isn’t fruitful and it can definitely lead me down a path of hopelessness. This is where dwelling in denial comes in super handy.
What’s something you wished people asked you but never do?
I’ve sat with this question for several weeks and I think that maybe I am having such a difficult time answering because I seem to have a presence (and chattiness) that invites most questions in (even the uncomfortable ones) so I spend more time wishing I hadn’t been SO open and perhaps wouldn’t have been asked a certain question.
I mean, I have questions that I wish specific people would ask me. Like, I wish my husband would ask, “Babe, want me to buy that puppy you’ve been begging for and shamelessly texting me photos of?” or “Hey love, should we install a confetti cannon in the dining room?” I would answer both of these questions with a great big yes!
But, the more I think about this question the more I realize that at my very core, I just wish more people asked me how to celebrate their people well. I love joining in on brainstorming how to make someone feel loved.
You can follow Sarah on instagram to see more of her work including behind-the-scenes featuring her installations.