Swim Suit Shopping? This is the Supportive Voice You’ll Want to Invite into the Dressing Room
by Susan Padron
Photo by Photo by Nurlan Isazade for Unsplash
“It’s more than minimal fabric we’re battling. It’s the patriarchy and fat phobia.”
Now that a lot of us are feeling more comfortable traveling, we have more vacations planned than we’ve had in the last three years. That means it’s very possible your summer wardrobe is not prepared. As a personal stylist, I can tell you that there’s a section of the closet I see clients neglect probably more than anywhere else: bathing suits.
Let me guess, your bathing suits live in a drawer that probably has a lot of other random stuff in it (coverups, socks, workout clothes that you don’t really like to wear but haven’t gotten rid of yet). You usually avoid opening that drawer, except for when you’re about to leave to go to the beach or the community pool. You dread opening that drawer, but you dread trying them on even more. The idea of needing to buy new bathing suits makes you cringe.
Well, you’re not alone. This is a pretty accurate description of just about every single one on one personal styling clients. Shopping for bathing suits is complicated for a lot of us, because we feel exposed, there’s minimal fabric, and you’re going to be seen by other people, who are also wearing minimal fabric. Once we see other people who are also in bathing suits, we immediately start playing the comparison game. We start by judging ourselves and then comparing ourselves to everyone else. It’s an experience that starts in a place of judgment, with thoughts like, “I can’t believe this bathing suit doesn’t fit me anymore. I only bought it five years ago. How could my body do this to me? How dare my body change?” Please note the sarcasm that’s intended in those thoughts. I make light of these kinds of thoughts, because it’s important that we see how ridiculous we treat ourselves sometimes.
After we move out of the judgment phase, our brain goes into comparison. We’ll go to a pool or to the beach, and we see other people, and it begins. We start thinking, “Oh my gosh I wish my breasts look like that.” “I work out so much, why doesn’t my butt look like that?” “I remember when my body looked like that.” Because we’re caught in the comparison trap, we’re not present. We’re not actually having fun, all because of “minimal fabric.”
Okay, so it’s more than minimal fabric; it’s the patriarchy and fat phobia. So what can we do to help ourselves in both of these situations: the judgment, when we’re trying everything on, and the comparison when we’re actually wearing it. So let’s talk about the most common scenarios that I have witnessed for my clients, their insecurities (which may also be your insecurities), or concerns and ways to work with that.
Scenario one: You don’t have time to shop.
It’s been a minute since you’ve been bathing suit shopping. Your bathing suits fit fine until they didn’t. You’re so busy preparing for your upcoming family vacay that you’re frantically buying new ones on amazon and grabbing some from Target, but you don’t have the time or energy to try anything on when you’re there. The kids need beach towels, your partner needs deodorant, there’s no time for you to hop in the dressing room. You’ll just try them on when you get home… or maybe you’ll just try them on when you’re on vacation. Now you’re finally on vacation, and you get around to trying on the bathing suits you bought, and either they’re not great (but they work), or you hate them. Now you're frustrated every time you have to put one on your body, and then what happens? You forget that this is the case, until it’s time for the next occasion where you need to wear a bathing suit.
The reality of it is that you’re avoiding even trying on a bathing suit until the last possible second, and you’re settling for something, because of how you feel about your body. There are better options! If you know the majority of the time you’re going to be wearing a bathing suit involves also being with your kids, you’ll want to make sure your body feels secure in what you’re wearing. You might feel better in something with a sporty vibe to it, so slightly thicker straps, a little more booty coverage.
Did you know that there are bathing suit brands that basically have shapewear built in (don’t worry, it’s not as awful as it sounds)? These styles of bathing suits typically are a little bit thicker in the material used, so you’ll naturally feel more secure. If shapewear isn’t your thing, but you want to bring attention to parts of your body that aren’t your stomach or midsection, look for bathing suits with ruching - or gathered material across the middle. You can also look for bathing suits with diagonal lines or diagonally placed color blocking to bring the focus to your waist. My favorite brand for this type of bathing suit is Summersalt. I’ve personally had their bathing suits for years, and the quality is so good. They do a lot with bright colors and color blocking, which can help you to embrace your curves while wearing bold colors.
There’s a science to colors, specifically to color blocking. Lighter colors attract visual attention while darker colors detract. If you want to bring attention to your chest because you love it, go for a lighter color on top with a darker color on the bottom. If you have been workin on that booty and feel so good about showing it off, wear a brighter color on bottom and a darker color on top.
If you have a larger bust, you’ll absolutely want to try Bare Necessities and search for bathing suits in your bra size. If you have breasts that are larger than a D cup, and they are your natural breasts (meaning they are not implants), you will have a better, more comfortable and supported fit in a bathing suit with underwire.
Before you order anything though ask yourself, how are my clothes currently fitting? If they’re fitting a little loose, you might want to go down to size. If they’re fitting a little tight, you’re gonna want to go up a size. How do you know what size to order? Use the size chart! There is always a size chart/sizing guide on clothing websites. It really helps if you already know at the very least your bust size and your waist size when you’re shopping for bathing suits. All brands measure differently, so it’s completely normal to be two or even three different sizes, depending on the brands.
Also, I have a pro tip for you. No one is going to check the tag on your clothes and force you to tell them what size you are. In fact, nobody cares. So order the size that’s going to feel best on your body, because would you rather order a size that you’ve been wearing or you used to wear just because of the pride you have in that number just to end up being super uncomfortable wearing it? Or do you get the size that’s gonna make you feel better in your body? Again, no one‘s gonna know what size you got so you’re either continuing to punish yourself and literally fit into some thing that no longer works or show some love to your body.
Scenario two: What you used to love, now makes you feel naked
You used to love wearing the tiniest string bikini you could find - showing off as much of your body as possible. Feeling sexy to you meant basically being naked. Now, because your body has changed, wearing tiny bikinis makes you feel naked, but you still want to feel sexy, so what can you do? You’ll want something that gives you compromise. If you go for something too covered, you’ll feel depressed and frumpy. If you try to keep rockin’ that itty bitty bikini, you’ll feel too exposed. Look for bathing suits that maybe have a little bit more coverage in the booty, but have a higher cut in the front: think 90s Baywatch style. A high rise bathing suit bottom with a lot of booty coverage will probably give you diaper vibes, so that’s why the higher cut front (still allowing for a cheeky moment in the back) will help you to still feel sexy. For the top, choose something that is still a halter neck, and creates lift with a bit of cleavage, but you can still move without risking a nip slip. You can look for tops with slightly wider straps, rather than a triangle string bikini top. Try brands like Cupshe, Aerie, and Swimsuits for all to find these styles.
Scenario three: Your gender makes it challenging for you to find bathing suits that feel affirming.
I don’t think I even need to go deeper than that, because unfortunately that summarizes everything. You’ll want to check out brands such as Tomboyx, Outdoor Voices, Beefcake Swimwear, and Humankind are all excellent options for you to check out. They provide different styles ranging from swimshirts, surfsuits, and bodysuits with fun patterns and prints, so you can still feel fully expressed.
But in order to find that perfect bathing suit (yes, it does exist for you), you have to be ready to start quieting the voice that plays the judgment and comparison game. And when that voice whispers in your ear (we’re working with centuries of conditioning designed to disconnect us from our power, so it doesn’t go away overnight), remember that it was put there by someone else. Then remind it that you’re here to radically enjoy life—sunshine and all.
Read more:
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