Woman in the Wild
photography by Dave Cooper
Interview by Jen Cooper
“When I remove all of the things other people think of me I can get in touch with who I think I am.”
There’re lots of times when my mind wanders. Sometimes it walks along a path that’s paved and easy. Other times the path is rocky and treacherous. Does your mind ever do that?
The other day I found myself thinking about the ways we describe animals and wondered how alike we actually are.
There’s tame. That’s where you turn a wild animal into a companion by interrupting the natural order of the world. It’s like the 60s craze of prescribing tranquilizers to women to keep them calm and free from having dangerous thoughts about doing dangerous things like finding pleasure.
Then there’s domesticated. It’s a little different than tame in that all wildness is removed through man’s radical intervention. The result of thousands of years of selective breeding for maximum control. Or in the case of the 1972 book and subsequent movies, The Stepford Wives, replacing women with robotics. “Why yes, John, I would love to make you a drink as soon as you come home from work. Dinner will be ready at 6.”
And finally there’s wild, which means free. And by free, I mean animals that aren’t bound by the made up rules of man. Animals that have their own codes for existing. Meaning, they’re the scariest ones of all. I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen into all categories of living at one point or another in my life. But these days, I’m leaning more wild. And that’s something I think backpacker and guide, Ivey Smith would feel good about.You see, Ivey feels more comfortable in the wild than anywhere else. In fact, it’s where she comes alive. And she’s dedicated the past few years to being in the wild as much as she can.
She’s hiked the Appalachian Trail, 300 miles of the Great Divide and participated in two mountaineering expeditions that took her across the coastal range of northwest British Columbia and into the northern ice field in Patagonia. She’s also paddled 450 kilometers along the Yukon River.
She is, in a word, tough.
But Ivey’s dream is bigger than hiking and paddling across some of the world’s most wild places. She wants to help other women get in touch with their own wild nature.
I joined Ivey on a trail in a Maryland State Park for a socially distant discussion about the joys of going wild. Our conversation has been condensed and edited for clarity.
Ivey! Tell me about this new direction of yours.
It’s a backpacking tour company for women! I’m offering all-inclusive trips for women to get outside and on the trails and figure out who they are outside of the roles they feel they have to play everyday.
Is there a benefit for women, you think, to do this type of thing?
Yeah! By being together and building a strong community of women in the outdoors, it’s healing and empowering.
I sense there’s a larger story here about your experience with men and women. What can you tell me about it?
I used to put a lot of value on male approval and affirmation. I almost prided myself on the idea that girls didn’t like me. To have female friends you have to go deep and I wasn’t able to do that when I was younger. Today, I’m so grateful for the female friends I have because now I can go deep. They taught me that.
And deep is where the healing is, right? Tell me about your own experience in the wild?
When I’m able to do a long hike I’m able to process a lot. When I remove all of the things other people think of me I can get in touch with who I think I am.
That must be powerful.
It is. I’ve gone through a metamorphosis, especially since 2018 when I got sober again.
Tell me about that?
I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that if you want to keep something you have to give it away. They were talking about sobriety and giving others the messages and same opportunities you’ve been given. But I realized this applies to the outdoors too. It was in the outdoors that I was finally able to get in touch with myself. I want to help other women do the same.
So maybe you’re not an alcoholic, but say you deal with the idea of control.
Ah, yes! I can see this. Tell me about the woman signing up for this. Who is she? What’s on her mind?
Well, she’s in her 40s and she’s been really busy all of her adulthood—job, kids, partner, a ton of responsibility on her shoulders. She doesn’t have time to do the thing she’s been passionate about. She always saying to herself, “My family relies on me, my husband needs me to show up as his wife. I can’t step out of this role I adopted.”
I want to give her the option to step out of her role so she can decide who she is. I want her to go to a place where she can just be her. And the wilderness is such a removed space that it gives people a place to figure all that out. Things like who you feel you truly are and what your identity is.
Take me through her experience on one of these trips out there? Like, what’s she feeling? Experiencing?
First, she probably has some doubt. Being uncomfortable is the best way to get real. You just don’t have the energy to devote to putting on the masks you wear every day back home.
Then she recognizes she needs to start leaning on people. I know for me, I thought being independent was the best way to go, but I learned that’s not true. Even when I’ve done solo adventures I’ve been given rides or showered in people’s homes. I’ve never actually done anything completely by myself.
After that, she starts enjoying herself. She starts feeling empowered and capable. And she discovers from being with the other women that they’re accepting the real version of herself.
At the end, I hope she’s been able to get in touch with the part of herself that’s been asleep for awhile. And maybe she’s made friends too! And of course she realizes that women are stronger together. And that realization makes her own personal experience in this life better.
What do you want her to feel as she walks out of the woods?
I want her to know that it’s been really hard. I want her to realize that there is no prescription for life. I know for me I had to be an alcoholic and hit rock bottom twice to realize that the role I was supposed to fill doesn’t exist even though I grew up being told it did.
Basically, I want her to know she doesn’t have to want the same things as everybody else.
I mean she’s probably not going to figure everything out in three days in the woods, but it’s a start.
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You can follow Ivey’s adventures on her Instagram @shetreks.me. She offers all-inclusive trips for small groups from two to five nights.
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