Who’s writing your Self-Care Policy?
by Tami Hackbarth
photo by Marina Reich for Unsplash
“What if I told you that there is a way to not do politics and still change the world?”
Everything’s a Dumpster Fire and My Back Hurts. This is life in 2023.
Earlier generations have left the world a huge mess, middle age is way harder and more painful than we expected and we are running out of time. Think there is nothing you can do about the state of the world or your aching back? Think again. You have way more power than you think.
People frequently say they don’t like politics. What if I told you that there is a way to not do politics and still change the world?
Start by forgetting politics and instead, let’s talk about policy. Policy is what changes the world. Here’s a quick illustration:
Race and gender equity - policy
Gender pay gap - policy
Informal work + instability - policy
Violence against women + girls - policy
Ending gun violence - policy
Universal health care - policy
Access to abortion care - policy
Subsidized child care - policy
Paid family leave - policy
[Source: Institute for Women’s Policy Research and UN Women]
It is easier than you might think to get policies that you want. It all starts with a conversation— and not the kind people have in the comments on social media or where they are trying to change people’s minds at the Thanksgiving table.
“We’ve been sold a bill of goods that self-care is selfish, frivolous and optional. The same thing can be said about civic engagement.”
The kind of conversation I am talking about is between us and the people who have the power to change policies. We need to talk to our elected officials. We need our friends to talk to their elected officials. We also need to elect officials who want to talk to us and our friends. It is a plus when they share our policy priorities.
In my former career, I worked for a US Senator, Speaker of the California Assembly, and a member of the House of Representatives. On multiple occasions, I witnessed what happened when elected officials heard the stories of the difficulties affecting real families like ours: they became crusaders for better policies. More than anything, they wanted to make things easier for the people they represent.
This is why who we choose to represent us is important. When we elect more women to positions of power we get more laws that help women and families. This is seen time and time again at the state and federal level. When women work together change happens.
Now, let me address one elephant in the room (yes, there are multiple): lobbyists and special interests. The reason lobbyists have so much influence is because they are always talking to elected officials. It is their job to educate and influence members in order to get favorable outcomes for their clients. Yes, they have money to help finance campaigns and that is a problem. And even with all that, I have seen lawmakers listen to citizens above all else. Those elected officials are in it for the public service.
Let me address the other elephant in the room: only 53% of citizens of voting-age participated in the 2022 elections [Source: US Census Bureau]. This is a missed opportunity to choose who makes laws that affect every part of our lives. Let me shout it from the rooftops: We get to choose who serves. It is up to us to elect people who will make changes that will make all of our lives better.
So while the system might try to trick you into believing positive change is complicated, it is pretty simple. We have to show up every election and vote for the candidate most likely to work for the people. After each election we have to continue to show up to hold our elected officials accountable. Remember, when the public shows up our elected officials listen to us.
“But I’m busy,” you might say. It’s true, you are busy. So I’d like to offer a variety of effective ways you can fit showing up into your life.
Showing up can be as simple as voting in every election and writing an email on a topic or issue that affects your family. Showing up could look like joining the board of an organization that fights for the issues you are passionate about. Showing up could look like sending a monthly donation to that one member of Congress who you saw take down some high powered executives with her whiteboard. Showing up could look like attending a town hall hosted by your state representative and asking a question about an issue that is important to you. Showing up could look like running for school board. Showing up could look like taking your kids with you to vote on Election Day. Showing up could look like talking to your friends about voting and how we can take our power back.
You can’t ignore something and hope it gets better on its own. Let’s be honest, that’s how we got here with policies (and politics) and how we woke up with an aching back.
It all needs daily tending in order to keep them in working order.
Like I said, I know you are busy. I know you are tired. I even know you woke up with some mysterious midlife pain. I get it. Me too. I also know that the systems aren’t broken so much as they are set up to keep you tired enough to not think you have the power to change anything.
We’ve been sold a bill of goods that self-care is selfish, frivolous and optional. The same thing can be said about civic engagement.
Self-care is really the deep personal work and the mind numbing daily grind of doing the things that keep our bodies and brains able to fight for what’s good and right in the world without burning ourselves out. And self-care fuels us so we have the energy we need in order to tackle bigger problems in the world.
Let’s take care of ourselves so we can better take care of each other and ultimately take back our power. Here’s how…
This month’s action: Register to vote/check your voter registration.
Feeling fancy? Send a voter registration card/link to a like minded friend or family member. {Don’t forget all the high school and college students in your life.}
Feeling extra fancy? Take a mental health walk outside. Your back will thank you later.
Read more:
We need to have a talk about U.S. family court reform
The Industrial Wellness Complex is knocking on our door. Here’s why we aren’t answering.
Pleasure, Power, and taking it all back.
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