Energy Exchange: The Currency of Connection
Recently, a friend invited me out for a group dinner. I knew some of the people there, while others were complete strangers. In the past, I’d jump at these opportunities. But now, I often find myself needing a bit of a pep talk to embrace a social invite. So I gave myself a nudge and decided to go.
At the dinner, there was conversation, but the atmosphere felt a bit off. It was as if each person was having dinner alone. They just happened to be sharing the same table.
When I got home, I felt disappointed with how the night turned out. But instead of using this letdown as another reason to avoid going out, I decided to take a closer look at what really happened. Here’s what I noticed:
Group Dynamics
As a coach for leaders and teams, I'm always observing group dynamics. So, after this dinner, I couldn't help but wonder about the group interactions and why the night didn't quite meet my expectations. Everyone was physically present, but there seemed to be a lack of energetic engagement.
Before I blame anyone else, I need to admit I was part of the equation too. It hit me that I’d shown up hoping to soak up all the good vibes from others. I planned to receive positive energy, but I'd forgotten I have a responsibility to offer positive energy as well. This is what we call an energy exchange and ours that night was blocked.
Energy Exchange
Emotions are part of a human energy exchange. We are constantly putting out energy through our emotions and receiving energy in the form of the emotions of others. We're all like little beacons of energy, radiating our energy and picking up the energy of others. What we feel is the energy colliding and vibrating. That’s why we call it a 'vibe.' That vibe is the shared vibrations that form when we amplify our energies.
Human interaction is a two-way street; a dance of give and take. It's not just what we stand to gain from others, but also what we bring to the table. This exchange of energy is an integral part of our social interactions. It's what binds us together at work, in our relationships, and even with strangers.
Dynamics of Energy
Here's the funny thing about energy: it multiplies. When we collectively tap into a vibe, it's like our energies get together and have a party of their own. The more we invest in the vibe, the bigger the party gets. So, there's actually so much to gain when we actively contribute!
When we don’t contribute to the collective energy—either by holding back our energy or keeping our emotions to ourselves—we’re disrupting the natural rhythm of human interaction. It creates an imbalance that can leave us feeling out of sync and detached because we’re not fully participating in the collective experience. Sure, we may be physically present, but we’re not truly engaged.
Emotional Cost of Disconnection
Let's be honest, things have shifted since the pandemic. I've felt it too. Over time most of us, without realizing it, have forgotten how to freely share our energy in order to contribute to a collective vibe. We’ve fallen into the unintentional pattern of holding back our energy, not realizing the impact it has on ourselves and those around us.
I'll admit, I've found myself being more cautious with my energy, too. It's like I've put up an invisible shield, becoming more selective about where I channel my energy. It's almost like I'm holding an internal interview, assessing if a person or a situation truly deserves my energy before I let any of it flow their way.
Over time, this mostly subconscious self-imposed isolation can cultivate a deep sense of loneliness. It happens because we're not nurturing the necessary connections with those around us. We're not actively participating in the ebb and flow of energy that is vital for community building and personal satisfaction. Last year, the US Surgeon General raised the alarm about the epidemic of loneliness and isolation. This is a downside of not sharing our energy. We end up feeling disconnected and alone.
Catch the Vibe
If we want to see things change we must be the change we want to see in the world. Although that can feel like an overwhelming responsibility, it doesn’t have to be. Big change always starts small.
Imagine if we all decided to bring intentional energy into every room we walked into. Imagine if we saw our energy as something that could be multiplied and shared. We could transform our communities. And the best part? It's good for us too.
Let's start thinking of our energy as an investment in the world we want to live in, instead of something we must jealously guard. Sure, it might feel a bit risky, like being the first one on the dance floor. But hey, someone's got to feel the rhythm and be willing to start the party, right? Why not us?