The Great Reinvention: Can a Life Coach Really Help?
Photo by Christina Best Photography
Interview by Jen Cooper
“Women, by and large, believe that if they haven’t been paid for something, it doesn’t have value. But that’s not true.”
If you’re looking for a new job or career switch, you might wonder if you need a coach to help you. I know I did. Even though I’ve had some amazing work experiences, I couldn’t tie them all together to launch the next act of my career. And there was also another problem: even with what I knew were my successes, I still couldn’t see what I was good at.
I needed an outside perspective.
“Coaches can see things that you don’t see. You may have these stories about how things are, like you aren’t good at X, Y, or Z,” says wellness coach and podcast host Tami Hackbarth, “but coaches can help you see that those stories could be different, or they could be a lie altogether.” In short, coaches can help us counter our negative self-talk so we can see ourselves in a brighter, fuller light.
They can also help us get out of our own way, show us our leaky boundaries that need attention, and yes, help us find the new job we’re seeking.
Normally, midlife is a time to reassess our careers. But combine that with a pandemic and you have even more reasons millions of women have left their jobs. We could name the lack of childcare, burnout from emotional labor, or caring for sick parents, but I know you already know all the reasons. You’re living them.
But if you’re now ready to go back to work, or are thinking about switching careers, it might be time to get a coach. I spoke with Tami to get her advice for anyone looking to embrace the “Great Reinvention.”
You have a unique perspective on pivots as someone who went from being on Capitol Hill to becoming a public school teacher, to yoga instructor, to a wellness coach. What advice do you have for others looking to move to their next career?
You’re not going to find the job you want on Craigslist or Monster. You’ll find them through networking. And networking is really just connecting the dots between the skills you have and the skills a company needs.
But what if I don’t think I have skills?
First, you do. Women, by and large, believe that if they haven’t been paid for something, it doesn’t have value. But that’s not true. So think about every single skill you’ve acquired, and remember, it doesn’t matter if you were paid for those skills or not.
Okay, but what if I’m not exactly sure what I want to do, but know for damn sure it’s not what I’m doing now?
This is where you have to ask yourself a series of questions. First, “What impact do I want to have in the world?” Then, “If I could be doing anything, what would it be?” Once you have those two down, move on to, “Who’s doing stuff in the space I want to work in?” Then take those answers and compile a list of companies or organizations already doing that work.
From there, you can zero in further. For instance, you may find yourself saying, “I think I’m interested in working with a female-owned company,” or “I know for sure I want to work in a family-friendly company.”
By the end of the exercise, you should have a good list to work from.
All right. I have the list of things I want to do, the companies I want to work for, and the work/life balance I must have. Now what?
Okay, now you want to find people who are already doing the work in an issue area you’re drawn to and reach out to them. A good strategy is to let them know how you can help them. You can say, “I see a hole in this thing you’re already doing and I’m the perfect person to fill it.”
Your client base is largely women. I know for me, I had a big “gap” in my resume from the years I raised my kids. I mean, I was doing things, but I wasn’t working a traditional job. Any tips for how to fill in those gaps?
It’s great if you can sit down and have coffee with someone as opposed to showing up only on a resume, so you’ll be able to fill in those gaps with confidence. That’s where building relationships and widening your network will help you. Go on LinkedIn and go to every contact you have. Then each day, send five people in your network an email and reach out. Ask them what they’re up to. Share what you’re up to. So much of work is found through those we know and trust, people who will open the doors for you. And really, most people want to help.
“You’re not going to find the job you want on Craigslist or Monster. You’ll find them through networking. And networking is really just connecting the dots between the skills you have and the skills a company needs.”
Okay, for the people who are successful at pivoting, what do you see them doing right?
They think of themselves as an entrepreneur/CEO of Team Self. Meaning they have a personal website, updated professional photos, potentially a side gig; they have a social media presence that’s not just pictures of their kids, dogs, or vacations.
They ask for informational interviews. That’s the real secret sauce. You contact people who are doing what you’d like to do. You’re not looking to get a job, you’re looking to build a relationship and see if you’d even want the type of job they do to begin with. Ask things like, “What do you do? How’d you get there?” etc.
What do you see people doing wrong?
Hoping that things will come to them. Thinking that the things that they see are available are the only things available. Thinking that their skills aren’t transferable. Not applying to things because they don’t have 100% of the qualifications.
Finally, what do you want people to know about finding a new job or career?
Nobody wants to hear it, but the better we feel in our lives, the better our work is. So before you leave your job, determine if it’s your job that sucks or it’s your life that sucks. Pour everything into your life before you quit. Don’t go throwing away a career when what needs to be fixed is your personal life. Get all your personal shit dialed in and then let’s look at your career. That’s where a coach can really come in to remind you to create a solid foundation for your life. This could mean taking care of your physical health, your mental health, your relationships, your money, your house. Try to get those foundational pieces taken care of so that you can show up to your career as your best self.
Many thanks to Tami for her incredible information. You can work with Tami by visiting her site TamiHackbarth.com or buy a coaching session as a gift for someone you love.
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